20 Insults More Creative Than "Little Man"
or Cyrano for the Short Fellow
by Corwin


"My lord, you have an opportunity such as this, and the best you can muster is "little man?"

Oh, I suppose you can do better?



Fable: You must be feeling now as Jack did after planting those magic beans.

Quizzical: Where does a man your size find a tailor? Is he also a doll maker?

Agricultural: Perhaps if you had been given regular waterings, you would have grown past being a mere sprout.

Geographical: Standing beside you, I feel as Mount Everest beside the Dead Sea.

Fashionable: You could emphasize your height by walking the appropriate dog ...say perhaps a Chihuahua...

Personal: My dear fellow, I missed you. Truly, you are such a small target that it is difficult to hit you.

Envious: Ooooo, I wish I were you--to be eternally free of ever striking your head on anything.

Complimentary: You must so love the little children to remain their size to play with them.

Appreciative: Oh, I just loved your recent work in "Lord of the Rings."

Philosophical: If man is but a mere dust mote in the eye of God, what would that make you?

Religious: The Lord giveth, but in your case, He gave it to someone else.

Inquiry: When you stop to smell the flowers, do you have to stand on your toes?

Lacivious: Do you find it difficult to breathe when hugged by a large breasted woman?

Melodic: Together, everybody! "It's a small world after all..."

Fascination: It amazes me how you can jump up and touch the ground.

Irish: If I be catchin ye, won't ye haft to give me yeer pot o gold?

Sympathetic: Oh, what happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?

Condescending: While you are down there, a spit shine to my boots would be appreciated.

Perspective: Oh, I'm sorry--I thought that you were standing very far away.

Employment: Tell me, does the circus pay you well?





SWORDandMUG